Chrissie Webber works as a writer, business coach and motivation/ leadership trainer and is Managing Director of Life-Shapers Ltd, an online weight-loss motivation company. With over 20 years experience in the field of business and people development she has an expertise in the area of motivation for permanent weight loss.
Following a lifetime of weight issues - at her heaviest, over 21 stone and a massive size 30 – she has personal experience of diets and their devastating effect on size and psyche. With a background in nursing, psychology and business coaching, coupled with a lifetime of dieting, she developed and successfully used a series of models and tools that enhance weight loss motivation. Now over 5 dress sizes smaller and having sustained her weight loss for several years, Chrissie continues her passionate drive to change the mindsets of people away from a ‘Scarcity’ dieting mindset – where food is demonised as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – to an ‘Abundance’ mindset where mind, body and spirit work hand in hand with food and nature.
I have a confession to make – I am an inveterate people watcher! It is so fascinating what you learn when watching others. We can learn not only about them but also some important lessons for ourselves.
The other day I was aimlessly watching people when I noticed a lady who stood out from the crowd. It was not the fact that she was big and beautiful that caught my eye, but her deportment. Her body had a natural grace to its line and flow. As she walked there was an air of confidence about her that seemed sadly unusual in a woman of her size.
The straightness of her back yet the relaxed posture, with head held high, was indicative of slim attractive women. You could tell at a glance that she was happy in the skin she was in, a sadly unusually thing for woman who are overweight.
What was most remarkable was the way people were noticing her. This brought back a memory of what a man told me many years ago – “A beautiful, confident and well groomed, large lady who enters a room will turn more heads in admiration than a thin one, as thin confident women are ten a penny.”
It is usually the norm to notice large people (if at all) because of the way they look so uncomfortable with themselves and the clothes they are wearing. Sadly, many take not pride in their appearance because no matter what their weight and size they hate their body image. This is then reflected in the way they walk and carry themselves.
This got me thinking about the importance of our deportment to our confidence and visa versa. I never know which one comes first as one can influence the other so dramatically. The more confident we feel the more we show it in our body language. We stand more erect, walk with an ease and give confident eye contact, connecting with others without a worry about being judged.
This is when our true beauty radiates for all to see. The problem is that the way we carry ourselves and walk can either make us appear thinner or fatter. The more erect we walk the thinner we appear. The more we walk with a waddling gait, the greater it exaggerates our size.
Remarkably we do not have to build our new self belief and confidence first to achieve this new and confident look. We can fake it! Yes, that’s right. Using more positive, upright body language and practicing a relaxed and flowing walk has a major knock on effect. It can heighten our sense of confidence and self-esteem.
By re-learning the skills of deportment you can stop hiding in a skin that you dislike and learn to feel confidence in yourself no matter what size or shape. Releasing the power of your uniqueness and beauty for all to see and admire is the outcome of positive deportment.
It really doesn’t matter what others think or say, if you feel confident and beautiful in the skin you’re in. Don’t let presumed thoughts, of what others may think of you, stop you radiating who you are for all to see. Let you beauty shine forth and see your confidence grow and the compliments flow as you look slimmer and more radiant.
