I have a confession to make – I am an inveterate people watcher! It is so fascinating what you learn when watching others. We can learn not only about them but also some important lessons for ourselves.

  The other day I was aimlessly watching people when I noticed a lady who stood out from the crowd. It was not the fact that she was big and beautiful that caught my eye, but her deportment. Her body had a natural grace to its line and flow. As she walked there was an air of confidence about her that seemed sadly unusual in a woman of her size.

The straightness of her back yet the relaxed posture, with head held high, was indicative of slim attractive women. You could tell at a glance that she was happy in the skin she was in, a sadly unusually thing for woman who are overweight.

What was most remarkable was the way people were noticing her. This brought back a memory of what a man told me many years ago – “A beautiful, confident and well groomed, large lady who enters a room will turn more heads in admiration than a thin one, as thin confident women are ten a penny.”

It is usually the norm to notice large people (if at all) because of the way they look so uncomfortable with themselves and the clothes they are wearing. Sadly, many take not pride in their appearance because no matter what their weight and size they hate their body image. This is then reflected in the way they walk and carry themselves.

This got me thinking about the importance of our deportment to our confidence and visa versa. I never know which one comes first as one can influence the other so dramatically. The more confident we feel the more we show it in our body language. We stand more erect, walk with an ease and give confident eye contact, connecting with others without a worry about being judged.

This is when our true beauty radiates for all to see. The problem is that the way we carry ourselves and walk can either make us appear thinner or fatter. The more erect we walk the thinner we appear. The more we walk with a waddling gait, the greater it exaggerates our size.

Remarkably we do not have to build our new self belief and confidence first to achieve this new and confident look. We can fake it! Yes, that’s right. Using more positive, upright body language and practicing a relaxed and flowing walk has a major knock on effect. It can heighten our sense of confidence and self-esteem.

 By re-learning the skills of deportment you can stop hiding in a skin that you dislike and learn to feel confidence in yourself no matter what size or shape. Releasing the power of your uniqueness and beauty for all to see and admire is the outcome of positive deportment.

It really doesn’t matter what others think or say, if you feel confident and beautiful in the skin you’re in. Don’t let presumed thoughts, of what others may think of you, stop you radiating who you are for all to see. Let you beauty shine forth and see your confidence grow and the compliments flow as you look slimmer and more radiant.

A few weekends ago I had a wake-up call regarding portion control. I was away for a short break, staying in a hotel, where at breakfast I had cereal from one of those individual packets. As I poured them into my dish I was amazed at the size of the portion. It was so much less than I would have served for myself at home.

This made me think about all the other portions of food I serve myself and just how easy it is to be eating far more than you realise is really needed by your body. So as an experiment I bought myself some of the healthy option ready meals for one. That was also an eye opener. I had not realised how much my self-served portions had crept up in volume!

It has to be said that I had also been an advocate of fresh food over ready meals. So it was quite a surprise to me when I found such a variety of healthy options without the additives that I had expected.

My initial reaction to my first ready meal was “That’s not going to be enough to keep me satisfied.” How wrong was I! The saying of ‘eyes being bigger than stomach’ sprang to mind and with such a truthful ring to it. The portions were just right and the different varieties kept me eagerly looking forward to my next meal instead of wondering what I wanted to eat or cook.

This got me thinking about how much is ‘full enough’. Eating these ready sized meals made me realise that I was experiencing a completely different feeling of satiety than I had been previously working on. The great thing was I did not get hungry any sooner with these smaller portions. And another advantage I found was the reduction in me food bills!

 By taking note of how the portion size fitted my plate and by down sizing my plate – something I used to do – it is so much easier to serve up more appropriate portions of my good old home made cooking. It has also been a lot easier and more enjoyable than the old dieting method of weighing all my food portions. I don’t know about you but that always heightened my feeling of being different and somehow not good enough to eat like other people.

Training our eyes to be the scales for our stomachs is far easier and more motivating. Don’t forget though to watch for those portions creeping up in size again. It is all too easy to do.

Does it take you ages to get back on track when you have broken your diet or healthy eating plan? Do you beat yourself up because your willpower has been lacking? Do you feel a failure and convince yourself that it is not worth even trying to get back to your diet plan or healthy eating regime?

These are certainly behaviours that the dieting game has programmed into us, all because of the unhealthy relationship that food restricting creates. For over 30 years researchers have proved that food restricting, even in people with no weight or size issues, leads to binge eating and weight gain in most people.

I concede that after years of dieting, it is not easy to break the guilt trip brought on by a period of overindulgence, on the foods that do not suit our body best. However, it is made so much easier when we alter the way we view the situation…

Ø        Look back at the period of overindulgence and focus on what you ate that you really enjoyed. Allow yourself the enjoyment of food.

Ø        Remind yourself that no food is bad but some foods suit your body better than others. Allow yourself the occasional enjoyment of the foods that do not work well for you.

Ø        Consider whether you overate and if so think about how it spoilt the overall enjoyment of the food. Remind yourself that no food is restricted, only eaten in a balance to suit your body.

Ø        Now plan how you will create a mind and body connection, before you eat, that will enable you to stop when you are just full.

Ø        Congratulate yourself on having created a learning experience out of your overindulgence.

Ø        Remind yourself that past actions cannot be changed but can affect the future if you dwell on them with guilt and shame.

Ø        Let go of these negative emotions as they only raise your stress levels and lead back into more inappropriate eating.

Ø        Take action to reduce any stress in your life and so eliminate the need for comfort eating

Ø        Focus on NOW. Switch on your mind/body connection and take action to get back on track with your Conscious Eating Skills.

It is actually the negativity of our thoughts and emotions that holds us trapped, for periods of time, in patterns of unhealthy eating. Guilt and shame are massive demotivators. It’s therefore no wonder we have such difficulty in re-starting our healthy eating or diet plans once we have ‘broken’ them.

Accepting that we are only human and so will overindulge from time to time is a vital part of the process. Reducing the amount of times we overindulge is a major key to sustainable weight loss.

  By changing the way you view the whole situation of overeating you make life far less of a struggle and so reduce your stress levels. Being more loving and caring to yourself, whilst at the same time resetting your positive rules around food and ‘Conscious Eating’, you have no need to rebel and continue your unhealthy eating patterns.