Have you ever considered how much time your mind is focussed in negative mode? The time we spend ruminating on past or present issues can have one major effect on us – it can raise our stress levels. This is not always apparent as we may not feel particularly stressed. However, consider for a moment how much more you comfort eat when your mind is stuck in negative thinking.

  The more we struggle with these thoughts, try to problem solve them, fight against them, and the emotional turmoil they can create, the more we can get deeper and deeper into the negativity trap. What I never realised, for many years, was that all my efforts to escape these negative thoughts and the pain they brought with them, only lead me into withdrawing from the world and eating more and more.

Positive affirmations were helpful at times but still didn’t solve the problem of my comfort eating. The power of overcoming inappropriate eating habits actually lies, not in trying to avoid or escape the negative thoughts and their associated emotions but, in actually welcoming them inquisitively and letting them drift away. Being in the moment, as much as possible, without fighting the flow of thoughts; acknowledging them inquisitively and letting them go offers a freedom from the stressful battle in your mind.

This method of ‘Mindfulness’ has dramatic effects on your life when practiced on a daily basis. It allows you to develop the skill of living in the present moment. Regular practice enables your mind to quieten its negative chattering in order to experience the power of the present. It is in these moments that reality lives; at peace with the natural flow of life, unhindered and uninfluenced by past or future rumination.

This is where true peace lies. It is this peace that frees us from the need to comfort eat. So what methods can you use to aid you in your search for mindful moments during each day? Here are a few that you can start using right now…

Ø      Singing and playing a musical instrument– especially when you focus on the music resonating through your body;

Ø      Listening to music intently – becoming rapped up in it;

Ø      Mindfulness breathing – concentrating fully on your in and out breath, allowing your thoughts to drift in and out as they do and each time refocusing on your breathing;

Ø      Gardening – being in touch with nature as you work;

Ø      Physical exercise – especially where you focus your mind on the movements of your body;

Ø      Yoga / Pilates / Martial Arts and other forms or exercise where the mind in trained to be in touch with every movement of the body;

Ø      Meditation – both quiet and guided formats where the mind is being trained to slow down its thought processes.

Creating space every day for this type of activity is more beneficial than you could ever envisage. It reduces the guilt, shame and self-loathing instilled in us by years of playing the dieting game. It reduces the stress in our lives that has us reaching out for the false comfort of food. It reduces the time we waste each day worrying about things that may never happen, stressing about what we ‘should not’ have eaten when it’s already done and can’t be changed. And most importantly, it reduces the amount we beat ourselves up mentally, reinforcing within our own minds that we are ‘bad’, weak willed or just ‘not good enough’ because of our size, shaper or weight.

  The truth of the matter is that you are unique, wonderful and loveable, right now, no matter what your weight or size. These techniques of being in the moment allow you to see, feel and believe this, as your rumination reduces and you live more and more in the reality of the present moment. That is the true gift of life.

I was just reflecting on how, last week, I felt completely out of balance. I had lost my flow and felt as though, instead of easily sailing along the river of life, I was on a river with lots of whirlpools and eddies. Not only had my feeling of being centred and balanced been lost but also my mind more easily filled with its old habitual negative thoughts.

 There are many things in life that send us along an off-shoot of our personal river of life. You know the one. When you are on it, life and happiness flow, you eat appropriately, feel in control and never comfort eat.

When on the wrong river, we struggle against the flow of water. My life of playing the dieting game was like that as I battled with my weight. The more I fought against the reality of my body image, the food that suited my body best and the negative and self-critical thoughts in my head, the more I prevented myself finding my own river of life where food and nature work in harmony.

How do I know I have wondered away from my river of life…

*    My life or day is full of stress

*     I start to give myself excuses for not taking exercise

*    I  withdraw from the world, into myself and comfort eat

*    I set up a battle within my head about food

*    My thoughts revolve to those of self-criticism and self-doubt

*    I start to live less in the moment and more in the negativity of my head

 Creating the right balance in my life of loving actions that increase my physical activity and fun, feed my body with foods that fill me with energy, feed my soul with the love of friends and family and feed my purpose in life through the work and writing I do is the way I get back on track.

I find again, through these actions, the peace and tranquillity that comes when going with the flow of life and not against it. Follow your intuition, find the synchronicity in your life, get out of your own way and let nature do the rest.

I did something a few weeks ago that I said I would never do again – I weighed myself. That wasn’t too bad, as I promised myself that I wouldn’t get on the scales again for six months. But the temptation was too great. I had been taking much more exercise, eating healthily, most of the time, and was itching to see the results.

 So at the weekend I jumped on the scales only to discover I had not shed a single pound! The old thoughts and feelings flooded back as I began to beat myself up about the odd time in the past few weeks when I had over overeaten.

Then I stopped myself and began to think about how, only minutes before, I had felt so positive about myself. Yet again I had fallen into the trap of linking my self-esteem with my weight. I had attached myself to an outcome which had a chance of demotivating me.

Thinking about it now, I can see how much more productive it is to attach ourselves to outcomes that only motivate…

J        Doing things that feed our soul, not our weight issue

J        Creating and seeking happiness in our lives

J        Making time for self-loving actions for ourselves

J        Setting aside time to practice mindfulness and connecting with the present moment as often as possible

J        Counting our blessings every day

J        Creating space and time for the people who feed our souls

 The weighing scales have gone and in their place are the self-loving actions that will inevitably let my body settle at the weight it was born to be.

What sort of a day or week are you having? Is it filled with happiness? Do you eat less when you are happy? I am asking these questions because I realised a long time ago that the happier we are the less we reach out inappropriately, for food . The more emotionally balanced we feel, in our life, the less we need to use food as a substitute for happiness.

 Of course, happiness for most people is not a permanent state of being. However we can make a choice, in our lives, to fill each day with as much happiness as possible.

We also have a choice about how we handle the things that make us unhappy. The fact is that unhappiness is a state of mind that generates uncomfortable emotions, which many of us then try to bury with food. What we are missing out on is the lesson those emotions are there to tell us. They are actually the needle of our internal barometer, indicating to us when we are off course.

To get back on track or stay on a course for happiness there are 6 Key things we can do…

1.         Make the choice to seek and focus on happiness every day.

2.         Acknowledge the things that are outside of your influence to change and let go of them or they will continue to cause you pain and upset.

3.         Practice noticing any thoughts that focus on negative past events and
            remembrances. These are gone and cannot be changed but they will
            cause unhappiness if you allow them to. Let them go by bringing all
            your attention to the here-and-now.

4.         Practice labelling your thoughts into categories such as judgemental,
            fearful, depressive, guilty, helpless, worried, lonely, jealous, sad or
            anxious. Let them go by creating and taking actions to overcome them.
            It is in the inaction that unhappiness lies.

5.         Practice noticing when you are focussed on fears and worries of the
            future. Acknowledge that these things have not occurred as yet and
            may never do so. Let go and stop wasting the happiness of the
            moment on things that may never be.

6.         Practice Mindfulness, living in the moment as much as possible,
            without past or future thoughts. See the joy, beauty and happiness in
            whatever you are doing, no matter how mundane.