After years of yo-yo dieting and food obsession I came to realise that for me the dieting cycle had created a mindset of food fear and food scarcity. I had demonised so much food as ‘bad’ that life had become almost unbearable. It was only then that I realised that dieting did not work for me. I realised that I needed a new way of living with food in abundance, where my fluctuating fear of eating followed by rebellion against self-imposed controls would be a thing of the past. At over 21 stone (294 lbs) my fears, shame, guilt and messages around me only served to reinforce my belief that I was not ‘Good Enough’. Then I began to realise that listening to these messages and what other people said I should and shouldn’t eat had only served my constant weight gain. I felt trapped in a cycle of thought and behaviour that only proved my downfall. Even my attempts at a mind and body approach – integrating positive mental attitudes and more frequent exercise – lead to an inevitable rebellion and weakening of my resilience and focus. What was wrong with me?

The answer was remarkable – there was nothing wrong with me! I was perfectly normal. I was no different to anyone else. I responded with guilt, fear and shame to constant messages from others and myself that I was not ‘good enough’ as a person; I responded to self-imposed food ‘scarcity’ (dieting) by the inevitable craving, rebellion and comfort eating; I responded to self-imposed exercise regimes by giving up and feeling a failure. What did I see that made me realise that I was normal? The statistics that show that 98% of dieters regaining their lost weight and at least 10% more within a 2 – 3 year period and the fact that 95% of people who start a gym exercise programme give up within 3 months!

Then it was confirmed, research had proved that a gene exists which predisposes people to obesity. It was time to finally confront the issue, accept the absolute truth, do something about it and move forward. The truth of the matter – the ‘what is’ – was that my tendency to gain weight easily was an issue for life. There was no getting away from it that was a fact! Coupled with the fact that a dieting ‘Scarcity’ mindset had never worked, long term for me meant that I needed to find an alternative if I was to loose weight permanently.

The problem was the mindset I had got into – one of food ‘Scarcity’ and a belief that I was not ‘Good Enough’. I was therefore ignoring the key to any form of sustainable motivation -personal power and positive reinforcement of individual self-worth. It was then that I began to realise that all of our trials in life are just opportunities to learn. So, what are we learning about? The answer - how our repetitive thoughts (MIND) and actions (BODY), keep us trapped in old patterns of behaviour from which only unhappiness is derived; habits that block love, joy and happiness from our life (SPIRIT). What is the way forward to sustainable motivation? To take responsibility for our own past, present and future, thoughts, accept ‘what is’ and create new actions/habits to change our lives in ways that we never previously thought possible - we begin to love ourselves more than food!